we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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