Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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