I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He kissed a someone with a penis
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
