sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
my shit smells like andre
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
