Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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