Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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