Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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