Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
