i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy