just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize