She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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