Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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