Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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