Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
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The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
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All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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