She said her name was "party"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
