Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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