For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
