he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
