Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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