your parents love me but you hate me
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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