WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize