I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
