so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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