i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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