textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
