i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
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