I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
