His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
