I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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