making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
