I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
