the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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