I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
