ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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