I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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