That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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