ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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