IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
