Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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