She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
