dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
