he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
