win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
