Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
