Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I queefed so loud it echoed.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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