There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
