What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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