I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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