i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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