Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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