Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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