so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
