He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i dont even know how to be here
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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