All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
