Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
