If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
