my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
