Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You can't special order awesome
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
