I can't breathe out the right side of my face
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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