What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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